If u choose to be HAPPY

As a human being we are often flooded with too many emotions be it sad, guilty, sober, happy and the list goes on. I have crossed these emotions so many times in different chapter of my life. No matter what, HAPPY will always be my priority.

I choose to be happy and i want to be happy. Too many things took place in my life for the past few months back. Thinking about all those things just giving me headache. But, yeah, there are also good memories that i can treasure.

Plus, a new chapter in my life has just begun. Those that mingle and look at me,( i mean my very own friends), can see and realize the changes that i'm going through. A tempo of movements from negative to positive side. I cannot be anyone or move anywhere by just keeping quiet and be on my own. I have to move forward............i have to be someone..........AND I REALIZE THAT IT IS NOW TIME FOR ME TO MOVE FORWARD.....New beginning and new life is ahead of me...and i have to learn to face it...

YES!!! i can see and feel the new life and challenges........i can really feel its presence...i know that i have to work harder in order to achieve it...

Even now, i have changed into a better person and can accept the reality of life.....I am no more the old fiona that will sit and mourn over the past........i am now more independent and know how to handle things.....this is me.........yes me.......

to be continued...........

wat a day..........

I don't know why "today(9th nov 2009) " is being very nice to me. I received 2 phone calls. Well, its regarding my interview actually. Both are multinational companies. I went through a conference call with this company( company A) and they said i can start this 16th nov itself. And another company(company B) is asking me to come for interview preferably somewhere around this week. I am currently preparing myself for the interview actually. I'm gonna attend an interview session with company B before i make any decisions. I don't want to make things rush and regret later on. Looks like, its time to get more serious life and no more playin mode...

I am now declaring that, MY PLAYING MODE IS SWITCHED OFF AND SERIOUS MODE IS SWITCHED ON..........

But i'm not gonna be that serious though. Because i know i can never be one and never been one.......hehe

My Darling Bro(ISAAC)

Believe it or not, i have the most annoying bro that anyone could ever ask for.........FOR REAL!!! When he was born, he was so quiet and sweet...but now...........OMG!!!....Sometimes it makes me want to cry. But still i love him a lot. He is the best bro that i ever had.

What annoys me today was, he forced me to play this PC game called "Counter Strike". Whenever i'm into this game, for sure i will loose and this will make things more happy for my bro to continue playing. But as for me, i'll get bored and stop playing. Thats what happened today. HMMM, anyhow, i'm actually getting better and improving in this PC game. HAHA!!!

Thanx to my annoying and darling bro. Love you bro...

A fruitful Tuesday

hey hey hey!
I'm back to blog..........
but but, it gonna be a very very short post because i'm super duper lazy to do blogging now. Just feel happy today. Well extraordinary happy actually...........hehe....Finally i got what i want. All that i planned became into reality today.........Gosh!! i couldn't believe it myself......As i wrote in my post before, there is always a reason behind every situation. Now i'm getting it. Now i understand.

Okay, Shall end here! I'll blog again some other time,.......TQ for reading. I love my readers!!!

There's Always Something to Laugh About

Yes, i want to be happy and i love writing about it.

But, I've been taking it all too seriously.....

I felt this the other day as i went into my dad's office library. I don't know why but i felt really weird in me because usually if i turn up at my dad's office, i'll be like " dad, let's go out for lunch" or bug him with something else.

But, to my surprise, that very day i felt a pull to pick up a book that would make me laugh. Abraham might say that my inner being was talking to me but i call it my intuition or my spirit guides.

I knew just what would make me laugh.......

But while i was into picking up a book, i changed my mind. Instead of picking up a book to read, i went through the inbox messages in my mobile phone. Mostly the ones that contain silly jokes.

It goes on to tell me that i've been too serious lately and it's time to lighten up. Sometimes, the best way to heal a situation is to step away from it. Can you read a funny book or watch a comedy on TV? Can go get together with friends and tell some silly jokes???

I like the friends part, but will leave the silly jokes to others.

Then sooner, i tend to realize something, it is........

Learn to feel joy, no matter what's happening around you. Laughter and joy are magical because they bring happy situations into your life.

(The picture above was taken when i was on a 3 days trip to Phuket. I forgot all my sad moments......it was like in heaven........and that time it was for real and no place for fake business.....i really felt that special thing called happiness in me)

Credit to kak tina(1)

Awww...............Mr Mcd at Phuket.............i was forced to hug this Mr.Mcd by kak tina..........can't believe why on earth i did that.......but it was fun though having some crazy moments with friends.:)

Credit to kak tina

I myself can't believe that the one in this picture is me. But yeah, it is me. Taken by kak tina at Royal Crown Hotel, phuket Thailand.....i'm such a photogenic.

Amigos For Ever (7)

This picture was taken on our IFTAR & GRADUATION night. It was a memorable night for all of us especially when it coming to say that we will be following our own foot path after this........Can't wait for convo......................yeah

Amigos For Ever (6)

Sharmla the name given to her. Such a sweet girl. And the best part was she taught me to dance...i was given a personal practice the night before i was suppose to dance in front of a big crowd......u made it girl and so did i....

Amigos For Ever (5)

Asrul is him name............A very sensitive person yet full of imaginary............a very creative person indeed..........he even said he's gonna design my wedding dress.........well, let's just wait and see how it goes.....:)

Amigos For Ever (4)

From left, Nelly, myself n Imelda............Nelly is such an open minded person where she can accept each and everything that i say....some one that fun to hang out with........i'm so gonna miss her a whole lot.........

Imelda came all d way from Sarawak to study at MSU. That is where i met her, we are friends and will be friends forever.

Amigos For Ever (3)

From left, myself kak sham n kak tina.............both of them are my very best sisters.....even though we are different by parents, race and color.........but still we are united by that special thing called "friendship"

Amigos For Ever (2)

Antassari is his name. A very good and caring friend of mine. He will always be there no matter during my good times or bad times without any hesitation. Such a forgiving person and understanding as well and not to forget, a secret keeper as well. He is the one that i trust and i can almost talk about anything to him........

Amigos For Ever

Nur atina Ismail her name is. She has been a wonderful sister to me and always there when i needed her.

Being So Close Yet So Far....

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house that don't bother me,
I can take a few tears now and then and then and just let them out,
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me,
There are days every now and again i pretend I'm ok, but that's not what gets me,
What hurts the most, was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away,
And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what i was trying to do,
It's hard to deal with you the pain of losing you everywhere i go, but i'm doing it,
It's hard to force that that smile when i'm alone,
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret,
But i know if i could do it over, i would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken........................................................

The Story of Life

The Story of Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be, your neighbor, your coworker, a long lost friend, or a complete stranger. When you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Most importantly if you Love someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live. That's the story of Life.

Simplified My life

In an ever changing physical environment it can be hard to lose something we are attached too.

Many teach that to become enlightened a person must detach from worldly things. It has been my experience that this is backwards. When someone wakes to being they are profoundly aware of how temporary this physical form environment is. Knowing this makes a person able to enjoy luxury without holding on to it or becoming ensnared. This also avoids a false sense of entitlement.

Things around us are not good or bad in and of themselves.

When a person’s sense of identity is attached to things and those things are lost. We have a great opportunity to find out what we really value in life.

I was sitting at a park near my church in the evening of 6th september 2009. The area was slightly secluded. You accessed it by walking across the jogging track that was built perfectly. It was sunny. There was a slight breeze and I could see people working out in the distance. The warmth of the sun burned on my skin just below the fabric of my jeans. The only sounds I could hear were natural. Even though I'm sure many people went to this place on the weekend, it felt untouched. I didn't know why I went there as I usually tried to stay away from areas that would bring on hay fever i but I felt like going there.

At some point I took my bottle of water and my MP3 player out of my shoulder bag. I had downloaded a talk by Eckhart Tolle before. I can't remember which one it was. Most of what he had to say I had heard before. I didn't really mind. I would often just listen to his voice. It had become soothing and familiar to me. I let my eyes rest on the horizon and my mind went out of focus. I sighed and wobbled a bit from left to right.

I didn't expect anything to happen. This moment was complete, but then he said something that made my heart burst with feelings. He said on the recording:

"What was there before the Universe began..... is still within you".

That was the last thing I heard. I could feel my awareness opening up. The "I" in my life-story blurred within seconds. I no longer knew where I ended and nature began. The distance between me and the swans no longer existed. I was the wooden planks on the bridge. I was the air that rippled over the water. I was the sun that caressed the earth. I was the voice of somebody who never met me. I was a car in the far distance and all I could feel was love, love, unbound love!!!

I knew that I had to be there at that moment. I knew that it couldn't have been any other way. I knew that the "I" had so little significance in the big picture. It was very overwhelming, but in a pleasant way.

When I came back to my senses I wiped my face. I had been crying and had not even notice it. Tired and a bit dazzled I went home. It's something that I will never forget. Even though I would like to relive it, I know that it was the spontaneous play of life and I can't make this happen.